Michael Jordan ain't the only kid with a comeback.

Boom, bitches.

I apologize for the rude first line, you see, I have wanted to start my blog off with a bang for a while and what better way to grab the reader(you) and kick your ass then a BOOM, like literally a boom. So wake up and sit your ass down. Its time to recognize.

Wow, I really need to remember.... I'm white. Anyways, Have you ever had a day that you were all like, this seems like it should be in a TV show instead of happening right in front of me. Well its not even noon and my day already has bent your day over and made yours its bitch. You see there is a nemesis which has entered my life. Yeah I know, like WTF. Your probably like this kid is getting picked on by a bully or tormented by someone who is angry at him. No. Your wrong. This nemesis is not even human. Nor is it God all you heathens, but I'm talking an animal. But not like a stupid easily tricked animal, but I'm talking a fully grown, teeth baring, claws sharpened squirrel.

Now to give you some background on my history with squirrels. I having a real job, not one where you do arts and crafts and gossip with fourth graders, in an outdoor museum you see your share of squirrels who keep to themselves, even when you throw a nut or two their way, minds out of the gutter people.

Okay now that you know how I view squirrels and a polish girl's "job", this squirrel is unlike any I have ever encountered. It waits for me every morning on my porch waits for me to get off the porch and then makes a diving attack at me. I know what your thinking, its a fluke, it doesn't mean anything. I thought that too, until this morning, the second time it happened, I heard it yelling or squawking or whatever shitty sound a squirrel makes, and I turned and saw nothing but hatred in its eye. And its smart too, never hiding the same place twice, and only surprise attacks.

I will defeat this foe. You have my word.

I love you all and God bless