Michael Jordan ain't the only kid with a comeback.

Boom, bitches.

I apologize for the rude first line, you see, I have wanted to start my blog off with a bang for a while and what better way to grab the reader(you) and kick your ass then a BOOM, like literally a boom. So wake up and sit your ass down. Its time to recognize.

Wow, I really need to remember.... I'm white. Anyways, Have you ever had a day that you were all like, this seems like it should be in a TV show instead of happening right in front of me. Well its not even noon and my day already has bent your day over and made yours its bitch. You see there is a nemesis which has entered my life. Yeah I know, like WTF. Your probably like this kid is getting picked on by a bully or tormented by someone who is angry at him. No. Your wrong. This nemesis is not even human. Nor is it God all you heathens, but I'm talking an animal. But not like a stupid easily tricked animal, but I'm talking a fully grown, teeth baring, claws sharpened squirrel.

Now to give you some background on my history with squirrels. I having a real job, not one where you do arts and crafts and gossip with fourth graders, in an outdoor museum you see your share of squirrels who keep to themselves, even when you throw a nut or two their way, minds out of the gutter people.

Okay now that you know how I view squirrels and a polish girl's "job", this squirrel is unlike any I have ever encountered. It waits for me every morning on my porch waits for me to get off the porch and then makes a diving attack at me. I know what your thinking, its a fluke, it doesn't mean anything. I thought that too, until this morning, the second time it happened, I heard it yelling or squawking or whatever shitty sound a squirrel makes, and I turned and saw nothing but hatred in its eye. And its smart too, never hiding the same place twice, and only surprise attacks.

I will defeat this foe. You have my word.

I love you all and God bless

The smell of you in every dream I dream.

Well, its been awhile. Things have been rock bottom and cloud nine. Quite a big range for only a month or so absent. And for some reason I feel like something big is about to happen. Like I'm going down and there's going to be no hand there to grab onto. Let's see how me being psychic works out for me.

Anyways, I want this to be a big kick in the pants back to my blog eff your conscience blog post, but I fail. I've spent the last two weeks back to classes, having my social life turned upside down, and remembering who I am and what I stand for. It took alot to bring that back to me. It's amazing how you can lose sight of who you really are deep down. One bad decision here or there, and then you realize that path you said you would never tred is the one you've walked the farthest down.

And then, like out of some cheesy book that makes tween girls fall to their knee's, you see a light, that light being a someone or something that just makes you stop. And as the world turn's in slow motion you see the you that you are standing in front of you. You don't see anything you like. Not one thing. But that person who is near or moment that is going on around you, makes you see the good virtues that made you into who you were when you were happy. And with that support you focus on that person and keep whatever helped change you close, close enough that you have the continued support to make you feel more than you are.

I mean let's face it, sometimes someone or something enters our life and builds us up, and we don't have the courage to see it through those eyes or in ourselves. And that force that stops us and says, no. The force that has the courage to just say to you "No, you are a better person than this. What you see as a flaw or what you hate about you is anything but, its beautiful." When we hear this we may hate it, we may lash out and say how its wrong. But then you can look at the force, look deep into it, and see, that it couldn't mean what it said anymore than it does. Then we start to feel better about ourselves, and we start to carry a part of that force with us to remind us what we are.

I love you all and God bless.

Did you hear your favorite song one last time.?

Sorry about the randomness here. But sometimes there is just music that you can picture being in a movie of your life. And I honestly feel like I found that. Which makes me grin like a kid on Christmas morning. It also makes me extremely happy.

Now, what do we want to talk about tonight? There's so much in my head. It's like swimming in a sea of confusion. Well I think it is. See, I cannot swim, so that analogy has about as many holes in it as the Titanic. So i guess only like two. But we're talking huge holes.

But seriously now, tonight I want to talk about people. I know what you might be thinking "wow this is going to be long and boring" but i promise it wont be long. I just want to talk about perceptions and idea's of people. It's been eating away at me for such a long time now. So my friends whom i have yet to meet that read this, get ready for bitching. Haha.

Wow. I just totally blanked on my opening argument... How embarrassing. Okay, so I had an Epiphany the other day. I realized we invest different things into different people. We might have a perception that someone care's about others problems so from that point on we turn to that person and if they remain there for you that is wonderful. Then when you suck everything up and put on your emotional mask ,so-to-speak, everyone else thinks things are fine, but then you have to realize if your going to be okay with everyone it is not fair to keep the mask off to your caring friend. Sometimes they want just a friend and when your okay with everyone else and not them how does that make them feel? People are so egotistical and self glorifying these days that they do what they want and act how they want and take advantage to those who love them.

Sometimes it shocks me. I mean I feel blessed because my core best friends I would do anything for and no matter what they can take whatever from me because they know its even all the way around and i will take what i need, but when we all get together we all make sure we all have fun. However, like any other person there are people in your life that will use and abuse you and not let you have the time of day if you ask. I guess it is what I get for being a caring individual. Then I turn to you all in internet land and bitch. haha. Well whatever. It's my way of dealing with it.

Well, I got more but I think I've made you all suffer too much already, so till next time I leave you with my qoute and a message for whomever can take a meaning from it.

"We all take different roads, these roads cross, run together, and grow apart as much as they come together. Yet, sometimes we need to go off of the roads to achieve true happiness."

"We need to not live to die, because there are so many dying to live."

I love you all as always.
I'm just like you, just trying to find some room to breath.

So that whole thing about life and lemons...

So..... where to begin? where to begin?

Well, seeing as I have no followers or comments i'm pretty sure i'm pulling out a monologue again. Which is okay with me. Screw you guys.

I'm kidding, anyways on to a more serious matter. Life's challenges. We all got'em, we don't want'em, but their here to say. Whether it be natural like a disease or disability, or whether it be inflicted by someone else. I've seen situations like all of these in all different shapes and sizes, and one thing that i find remarkable everytime is the people that it affects and those around that person. So when someone relates a situation in a sort of "if life gives you lemons make lemonade" they must try to understand how the person or people they are trying to help will react.

Some situations that are inflicted by those around us cut the deepest, even if the person meant well. When people close to you do something bad like betray or hurt you it feels like they are tearing their bond of friendship away from you and it stings. Then, let's say we enter the metaphorical world, life gives you a lemon, but in this case its peeled, dripping with citric acid, and life throws it at the new cut you got at 90mph. Sometimes that's how it feels and it sucks. But face it, people are just that human. They make mistakes, deserve second chance; but sometimes that is not best for the person who is to make that decision.

Now onto the natural aspect (i know i ended that quickly but i'll be back to it don't you worry). So nature sucks, its lethal, threatening, and all around a bad person, if it was a person it'd be like the unabomber. It sucks in the fact that it is not discriminating and it is not fair. You can be the humanitarian of the year and practically a saint and get a brain cancer and suffer through it. Now I have what i like to think is a unique view on this. Now I am not overly religious; however, i believe that often times these moments are presented to test the person's courage and intuition and how they respond to that perception. When a person is faced with this they can either breakdown in a pool of self pity and tears or they can come to terms with it on their own terms and present a calm comforting front for the people are them to make things easier.

But even the strongest people cannot go it alone. They need someone to fall back on every once in a while. Someone to catch the lemon's a push life's face in the dirt. But now to my major point. Life is about decisions in the face of adversity. What we do in situations about how we perceive the outcome and then what we decide to do when we are given the facts. If you cannot stop the challenge then you should meet it guns blazing and making sure people remember the fun you and not the horrible you.

So meet your challenges with a smile on your face and a skip in your step, and if you see a friend without a smile, give them one of yours.

It's shocking that we're nothing.

Okay people of the Blog spot universe guess what. It is time, for what you say, the entirely philosophical post of your favorite person. So get ready for my feeble and unqualified attempt at being profound.

We all, as a society of people, need to learn that what we do in this life time as CEO of a big company will not mean a thing unless we remember the core values of being human. People in power are afraid so what do they do? They become soul-less, they learn to not care about their employees and do whatever it takes to put as many pretty penny's in their pocket. However, as safe as that might make them no one will remember the person who kept McDonald's at the top of the market for anything except being a monster to foreign countries and their resources. What is so hard about caring for your fellow man. It is the fact that everyone in this world is greedy and even if you do and can feel the suffering in someones eyes, ask yourself what are you willing to give up. What are you willing to do?

Take someone in?

Give someone in rags your jacket?

By a starving man a sandwich?

We have so much and even if its not helping the poor, maybe someone that's close to you that need's you to spot them some cash for a meal. This is a difficult time when people that are in trouble need to swallow their pride and those who can help need to open their eyes. There is so much that can come from being kind. The internal satisfaction, the relief in the other person's eyes.

I personally believe that you have a caring and good natured personality you may not be able to achieve a financial wealth but i believe there are much more satisfying things like a build up of grace, Grace being what is achieved by doing good deeds.

I feel awesome, who wants a high five?

Ok,so needless to say I'm back with more of my views of life and the world. So my two readers( yes that includes you mom( i kid i kid)) get ready for the hurricane.

Today's topic: People need to take their own advice.

Main Example: Yours truly

So here's the deal. I like to view myself whether it is true or not to be someone my friends can turn to if they need advice or a shoulder to cry on. I try not to be bias in my opinions and advice and honestly truly care about them and their well being ( seriously guys i love you). But then we face the problem, is i cannot for the life of me take my own advice, listen to myself, and i cannot, i repeat cannot stop being selfish.

I've told friends that have confided in me before, "look, you may not like what you have to do and it may be against your nature, but its the only way." funny thing is, is that i should have been standing in front of a mirror when i had said that.

You see class, in today's lesson you get to understand that the people who are quick to be your friend and help you along are often the people who need help. So go out there and be their helper.

But seriously, i know it seems like im writing this as advice for all of you but i'm honestly writing this so when i reread it i realize that this is advice i can take. The people you meet in this world that need help, you should always help, and i mean it. But those of you who get the advice maybe its your turn to go back and ask them if their okay or if they need anything. I know that's how me and my boy Bricks became friends.

Now for my closing philosophical quote," Sometimes it's better to make you own path than follow that of anothers."

And hell, because I am feeling gracious, here's another," Being a friend means seeing someone when they feel like they've lost it all and pulling them through the ashes."

Goodnight
And I love you all.

The First of Many....Hopefully

So here's the deal... I have to many thoughts and i don't even know running through my head once the clock hits 10 PM. I may not use proper grammar at all times, and if you are that nit picky then don't read my blog.

OK, so im also going to skip pleasantries, and get down to business.

Tonight's Topic: Why?

How can this possibly be a topic you ask? After all it is just three little letters. But these three letters form possibly the single most powerful question of our life. It changes meanings for all of us and also changes answers for us. Why changes daily for most, hourly for some, and for a few every second poses a new question.

Why am i still working here?
Why can't i live my dreams?

Alot of the reason we use why is because we have made compromises in our life's or mistakes along the road. Not seeing the treasure they have in front of them until it leaves or sticking in a situation that isn't optimal until its too late. The compromises shape who we are and alot of us have a difficult time looking in the mirror at the person we see. The person we always envisioned as a child, growing up big and strong to be a fire fighter or doing something outdoors and seeing the world ends up behind a cubicle wall trapped in the corporate ladder trying to just claw his way through the mediocrity to stand out. Then we get by, by telling ourselves when i retire i will go through the list of life goals and fulfill them then. But then you face the question how much time does one person have. It may be a cynical point of view but life is an uncertainty.

I hate the fact that i find it miserably hard to get motivated because i don't want to claw my way into the middle. I do not want to sit in front of a mirror in five years and then say why didn't i do anything great that i wanted too. In the last few days my view of life has been changing dramatically. I want to have a career that might not necessarily pay the most but if i was a cop or something where i could at least be outdoors or on the road i would be happy. Or even writing. It has always been a passion of mine its just i hate that even if you have a creative mind or a brilliant outlook on life and know how to put your views into writing you have to go through an education that mostly guides you down a path to take your creativity in writing from you. Even if your not a good student, which i am not, you end up failing or compromising your joys because it is so hard to achieve because you have the need and joy to be creative.

THIS IS WHY I DO NOT WANT TO GROW UP TO SAY WHY. I HATE THAT WHAT WE DO HAS TO BE TO SOMEONES STANDARDS. The fact that some people are amazing at sports is because they are born to be, some people are born to write, hell Bruce Springsteen was born to run. However, now it doesn't matter because it has to be to a standard.