The First of Many....Hopefully

So here's the deal... I have to many thoughts and i don't even know running through my head once the clock hits 10 PM. I may not use proper grammar at all times, and if you are that nit picky then don't read my blog.

OK, so im also going to skip pleasantries, and get down to business.

Tonight's Topic: Why?

How can this possibly be a topic you ask? After all it is just three little letters. But these three letters form possibly the single most powerful question of our life. It changes meanings for all of us and also changes answers for us. Why changes daily for most, hourly for some, and for a few every second poses a new question.

Why am i still working here?
Why can't i live my dreams?

Alot of the reason we use why is because we have made compromises in our life's or mistakes along the road. Not seeing the treasure they have in front of them until it leaves or sticking in a situation that isn't optimal until its too late. The compromises shape who we are and alot of us have a difficult time looking in the mirror at the person we see. The person we always envisioned as a child, growing up big and strong to be a fire fighter or doing something outdoors and seeing the world ends up behind a cubicle wall trapped in the corporate ladder trying to just claw his way through the mediocrity to stand out. Then we get by, by telling ourselves when i retire i will go through the list of life goals and fulfill them then. But then you face the question how much time does one person have. It may be a cynical point of view but life is an uncertainty.

I hate the fact that i find it miserably hard to get motivated because i don't want to claw my way into the middle. I do not want to sit in front of a mirror in five years and then say why didn't i do anything great that i wanted too. In the last few days my view of life has been changing dramatically. I want to have a career that might not necessarily pay the most but if i was a cop or something where i could at least be outdoors or on the road i would be happy. Or even writing. It has always been a passion of mine its just i hate that even if you have a creative mind or a brilliant outlook on life and know how to put your views into writing you have to go through an education that mostly guides you down a path to take your creativity in writing from you. Even if your not a good student, which i am not, you end up failing or compromising your joys because it is so hard to achieve because you have the need and joy to be creative.

THIS IS WHY I DO NOT WANT TO GROW UP TO SAY WHY. I HATE THAT WHAT WE DO HAS TO BE TO SOMEONES STANDARDS. The fact that some people are amazing at sports is because they are born to be, some people are born to write, hell Bruce Springsteen was born to run. However, now it doesn't matter because it has to be to a standard.