The smell of you in every dream I dream.

Well, its been awhile. Things have been rock bottom and cloud nine. Quite a big range for only a month or so absent. And for some reason I feel like something big is about to happen. Like I'm going down and there's going to be no hand there to grab onto. Let's see how me being psychic works out for me.

Anyways, I want this to be a big kick in the pants back to my blog eff your conscience blog post, but I fail. I've spent the last two weeks back to classes, having my social life turned upside down, and remembering who I am and what I stand for. It took alot to bring that back to me. It's amazing how you can lose sight of who you really are deep down. One bad decision here or there, and then you realize that path you said you would never tred is the one you've walked the farthest down.

And then, like out of some cheesy book that makes tween girls fall to their knee's, you see a light, that light being a someone or something that just makes you stop. And as the world turn's in slow motion you see the you that you are standing in front of you. You don't see anything you like. Not one thing. But that person who is near or moment that is going on around you, makes you see the good virtues that made you into who you were when you were happy. And with that support you focus on that person and keep whatever helped change you close, close enough that you have the continued support to make you feel more than you are.

I mean let's face it, sometimes someone or something enters our life and builds us up, and we don't have the courage to see it through those eyes or in ourselves. And that force that stops us and says, no. The force that has the courage to just say to you "No, you are a better person than this. What you see as a flaw or what you hate about you is anything but, its beautiful." When we hear this we may hate it, we may lash out and say how its wrong. But then you can look at the force, look deep into it, and see, that it couldn't mean what it said anymore than it does. Then we start to feel better about ourselves, and we start to carry a part of that force with us to remind us what we are.

I love you all and God bless.